– the visit

a poem from

walking towards happiness

the lady in black 
always came knocking at my door
since the beginning she appeared
looking for my soul
since my childhood
she tried to take me
and i said no
but today
she finally convinced me
to let go
so many things happened
since i was born
so many moments
that gave me pain
and denied me love
i carry in my heart
the transgressions
that left me undone
and i never forgot her poisonous
cold kisses and her sweet voice
i escaped her prison a few times
as she cornered me
from dusk to dawn
i beat her in so many marathons
as i ran faster but still
i bit the dust
she tried to always trap me
and she never could pay the cost
always insisting
and today i will not fight
so she can take me home
i feel no envy
for what i had to endure
all along
i only feel
an immense emptiness
inside my soul
i can only say
that my will was always mine
and mine alone
i can smile and feel happy
because i no longer have to run
the visit of this lady
only assures me
that it is time to go
she is coming dry and cold
in painful tears
without absolution
the visit of death
has not been the best
nor will it be the worst
but with me
i am taking a smile
full of betrayal and confusion  
i am taking with me
the mistakes made
wrapped in pain
one of many that threw me
without compassion
to the floor
i am taking
the clandestine sins
full of heartache
one of many that forced me
to lose my logic and reasoning
it forced me to
no longer fight fearless
as i always did before

2019. Adric Ceneri. All right reserved.

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