– the words of what i feel

a poem from

walking towards happiness

 one night i lost my will to love
and without doubts
my reasoning i drowned
i lost what i never had
all for wanting to forget
and i gave myself to death
without saying goodbye
consumed sins in my will to perish
drill my life and take away my feelings
oxidized sins do not force me to live
i only suffer writing the words of what i feel
i want to murder my bitter time
destroy it entirely until i see it fades away
i want to go to sleep and never wake up
to be trapped in my disdains of endless loneliness
i am no more than a crazy poet
who wants to go to sleep
i want to turn off the light in my eyes
and never again see
i have lived plenty in such short time
i have no reason to breathe
life finished my desire to continue living like this
i have lost my entire soul
fighting in this dark hole
in my eternal pedestal
i have lost every hope
i walk exhausted of a life i never asked for
and i will die unsettled
because i could not do more
because i let my sins
dominate my whole being
because i escaped
and ran away from my feelings
because i did not fought for what i believed in
because i was so weak
and let my blood ran freely

this eternal time
has poisoned my reasoning
it has corrupted my soul
without any remedy
i no longer wish to live
being who i am every morning
i live trapped in my fears
that grow by the minute helplessly
i am not who i once was
and i am ready to leave
i truly want to never return to this world
i want to rest in peace
i have lived plenty now i only have pain
hatred and suffering in my veins
my desire to live
a life i never asked for
has disappeared

2019. Adric Ceneri. All right reserved.

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